butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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