You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
