Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
