waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
