My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If I die, sorry about rent.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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