his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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