brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
