If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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