The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
