it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
