I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
