Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
