I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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