stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize