Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
