Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm always down for nudity.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize