We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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