the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
