My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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