i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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