walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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