What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just invented taco cereal.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
is that a dick in a sweater?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
