I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
