He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
