Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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