Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
