Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
