Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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