Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
