Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
