I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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