Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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