this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
