They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
