he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
