well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
