I got chris browned last night
I want to make a zoo with you.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
