I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
People in love make me want to vomit
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
