I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
