Apparently you make a good broom.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
