I think I just saw someone hide a body.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
