it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Let's paint friendship bongs
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
