My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Drunk is not a location!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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