phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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