Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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