apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
