Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
