do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
