Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize