Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
