Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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