how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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