I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
