I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i believe in u and ur pee
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
