my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
