So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
