I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just invented taco cereal.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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