it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
