I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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