just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
