wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
