Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
