i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
