yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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